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Paulina Talks About Being A Hasbeen

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She sure is stuck on the past.

Former supermodel Paulina Porizkova, is taking to her column in the Huffington Post to complain about the troubles of being famous and how she can't get a job.

Paulina writes:

My career has an umbilical cord straight to my self-esteem. Too bad I have very little control over being desired or desirable. After I was the first to get kicked off Dancing with the Stars in 2007, and my book failed to sell all that much, and I couldn't get on The View no matter how much I begged, and I got fired from America's Next Top Model, I spent the rest of the year feeling a bit sorry for myself while knitting and shouting comments at morning TV shows.

To her credit Paulina says she isn't expecting any sympathy from her 7 readers, and she's definitely not getting any from us!

The now ex-ANTM judge goes on about slipping through the celebrity ranks, saying:

No one but aliens can stay on top forever. (I'm talking about you, Tom Cruise. And you, Madonna.) For the rest of the humans, the B-list is waiting! And that's the good news, because there is also a C-list and a D-list.

On the A-list you're a God and can do no wrong. Every observation you make is a treasure for posterity; every dandruff you flake is auctioned off on eBay. On the B-list your glow may have faded, but you're still invited to hot parties and designers still lend you their clothes. You still get interviewed on the red carpet and paparazzi are a pest. The C-list will get you into restaurants where a maître d' is roughly your age and hence remembers your moments of glory.

By the time you find yourself on the D-list, you've become invisible except when you really want to be, i.e. when you're stinking drunk and puking onto your shoes, or while beating up your spouse, or just scored some good sh*t to help you forget — from an undercover cop. The only place to go to now is a VH1 reality show, and if they won't have you, there is always Dr. Drew's rehab.

She does make some valid points.

So what does Paulina do now?

She ends her column with this little gem: "What are fallen celebrities to do if they're too vain to get fat and too paranoid to get strung out on drugs? Knit and yell at morning TV for starters. And blog for free."

At least she's honest!

[Image via WENN.]

Tags: americas next top model, blog, complaining, dancing with the stars, huffington post, paulina porizkova, the view